Marie Rose Josephine Nghiem-Phu: December 2010

Friday, December 31, 2010

Reverend Theodore Lewis

In a non-linear fashion, events that are the essence of Maryse's being are assembled in this space...

Below are the words spoken by Rev. Theodore Lewis on December 23rd, 2010...

WORDS OF THE REV. TED LEWIS AT THE FUNERAL OF
MARIE ROSE JOSEPHINE NGHIEM-PHU
December 23, 2010

I am here firstly as a family member. My membership in this distinguished family comes about not through any merit of my own but through the graciousness of Marie Rose’s daughter VyVy in marrying my son Nathan. I am here also as a priest of the Anglican Communion, the main component of which in this country is The Episcopal Church but which is a world-wide fellowship, functioning not only in Britain where it had its beginning (hence the name Anglican), but also in Africa, Latin America, and Asia. In both capacities I am honored to be allowed to take part in our gathering this evening for our beloved Marie Rose, not so much to mourn her loss as to celebrate her life, in this place so beautifully decorated with ikebana and the like and to which so many of you have come. I would express my appreciation also for the Buddhist ceremonial which our brother and sisters have just performed with such authenticity.

As an Anglican priest it is my belief that the Anglican and indeed Christian tradition, which was part of Marie Rose’s own heritage, has much to say to an occasion even such as this, perhaps especially such as this. Now is not the time, nor is it my function here, to make a full exposition of it. But with your permission I will offer a few prayers taken from the Burial Office of our Book of Common Prayer as some indication of its riches.

In peace, let us pray to the Lord.

Grant to thy faithful people pardon and peace, that we may be cleansed from all our sins and serve thee with a quiet mind.

Grant to all who mourn a sure confidence in thy fatherly care, that casting all their grief on thee, they may know the consolation of thy love.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all comfort: Deal graciously, we pray thee, with all those who mourn, that casting every care on thee they may know the consolation of thy love.

Give courage and faith to those who are bereaved, that they may have strength to meet the days ahead in the comfort of a reasonable and holy hope, in the joyful expectation of eternal life with those they love.

Help us, we pray, in the midst of things we cannot understand, to believe and trust in the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, and the resurrection to life everlasting.

Grant us grace to entrust Marie Rose to thy never-failing love. Receive her into the arms of thy mercy, and remember her according to the favor which thou bearest unto thy people.

Remember they servant, O Lord, according to the favor which thou bearest unto thy people. And grant that, increasing in knowledge and love of thee, she may go from strength to strength in the life of perfect service in thy heavenly kingdom.

Grant us, with all who have died in the hope of the resurrection, to have our consummation and bliss in thy eternal and everlasting glory, and with all they saints to receive the crown of life which thou dost promise to all who share in the victory of thy Son Jesus Christ.

* * *
Rest eternal grant to her, O Lord:
And let light perpetual shine upon her.

May her soul, and the souls of all the departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

The God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus Christ, the great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant: Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well pleasing in his sight; through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever.

(turning to the Urn)

Unto God’s gracious mercy and protection we commit you.
The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you.
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace, both now and ever more.

Amen

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Hélène

Hélène is a dear childhood friend of Maryse... Upon learning of Maryse's passing, she has this memento to recall...

Anh Lân thân mến,

This is my 2nd try to write about my dearest friend Maryse. I could not control my emotions thinking about Maryse when I started to write and I got so blurry that I had to stop.

We were classmates since the 11eme class. Starting the 6eme class, I was old enough to bike to the school and so did Maryse. Contrary to Jackie Bông, I called her "JO", short for Josephine. I did not know that she did not like that first name until much later because she never told me she hated it.

We were a trio with another close friend (who passed away already), Mary Yến. After school, we would wander on Catinat street (Tự Do, later) and had ice cream or snack at Givral or Brodard, or we went to the movies. The days that we did not go together, then I would follow Maryse to her home and spent hours with her. Her mother loved me very much and vice versa and she never let me go home without having dinner with the family. The two mothers, mine and Maryse's were also very close.

Then starting secondary school, Maryse left for France. I did not see her again until I went there in 1967 where I met you for the first time, Anh Lân. We had a good time together strolling around the Quartier Latin.

Finally, when we saw each other again, you were in Florida and me in California. We, And Vân and I had the opportunity to visit you on our trip to the Bahamas, then I met Mặc-Long. Maryse also told me that he is the joy and the good fortune for the family. She was a devoted wife and mother and she was very proud of Mặc-Long, praising his various accomplishments at school.

When you told me Maryse left us eternally, I was choking. I felt that I lost a dear sister, dearer than my own because we spent hours on the phone when we talked. Although she was already sick, she still comforted me and encouraged me to be brave and optimistic so that I could fight my sickness.

And 2 months before she left us, she called me and we talked about 15 minutes, she was panting and so I did not want her to tire herself but she still advised me to be courageous.

All her life, she had been a soft spoken person, always sweet and generous. I never saw her having any tantrums even when she was mad or upset.

I will miss her profoundly and remember how great a wife, a mother and a friend she was.

All my sisters love her very much and have a memorable and beautiful souvenir of Maryse and Mặc-Long when they visited Maryse and you on their trip to Canada. What a wonderful family you have, they said.

With our deepest regrets and condolences to you, VyVy and Mặc-Long.

Love,
Vân, Hélène and family.

What's New Pussycat?

It was rare, but we did go to the movies in Paris... I can't remember what happened in the movies because we Parisians didn't really watch movies in movie theaters when we went with dates. Not knowing what Maryse's taste was like, I took the initiative and we went to see our first ever movie together, my choice: What's New Pussycat? I learned years later that she hated that kind of movies. But she endured just to make me happy. To this day, she hated Woody Allen.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Allison Gabrielle

Allison Gabrielle, poet, artist, philosopher, friend and neighbor... eulogized, wrote... and composed...

Loan (Maryse) 's strong soothing voice resounds in our mind's ear, " This is Destiny; That is Karma ", as a wise, all encompassing panacea. Anxiety, hope, desire - yes - and even pain are only temporary sentient emotions. Her steadfast message assures us that our souls have permanent continuity that transcends obstacles and boundaries.

Lover of snow globes, antiques, flowers, country-western music, and classic romantic films with heroic lessons of adaption, Loan created, radiated, and appreciated Beauty. Whether we step into her garden or imagine ourselves in the landscapes that she painted, we will feel transformed.

Most precious and revered memories of Loan's family, paragons of quiet courage, who share her joie de vivre:

Lan, Hong-Vy, Mac-Long, Hoang, Rose, Kim, Huy, Hai, Kim-Phuong and their spouses and extended families; and life long friends will always carry Loan with them, as God carries all of our spirits as well.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

For Eternity

I am, in a sense, like Mozart... I am always broke like he was... "money just slips through his hands," like mine. In Paris, we ate well the first week or so, then we survived the rest of the month on student meal tickets. So, needless to say, I did appreciate the tremendous gift Maryse gave me... A silver sterling bracelet on which she had my name engraved on the outer surface...

... and her name initials engraved on the inner side. The year was 1965, when we were really really really together a lot.

You can guess that M stands for Maryse. Her maiden name started with a B.
For reciprocity, it took me quite a while (Of course it had to wait until the first days of the month) to find her what I knew she would love: a mouse in tutu. I love that mouse... and Maryse loved it even more. It was her most prized possession that she vowed to keep for eternity... And here they are together to this day:

Monday, December 20, 2010

Dating Sure Was Better Than Studying

It was hard to concentrate on mathematics, physics and chemistry in Paris with this romance in full throttle...

We were in Paris... and she wouldn't touch cigarettes and wine! That was how I had to quit smoking! She always had it her way, gently, but irresistibly!

How Lucky Can You Get?

You want to know how it all started? July 7th, 1965:

This is a small bistro in the student quarter of Paris 5th "ärondissement." Do you know how hard it was to get all the other guys away from this girl? One was even a Laotian prince! But he was no match at all... really! Yes! It was a bottle of Coke! Hey, I was not about to get drunk with wine on our first date! But wine was cheap and plentiful then...

How lucky can one guy get?

It reads, in French "So that you remember our love."

Jackie

Jackie, a long term friend of Maryse contributed the following...

Dear anh Lân,

Maryse, as I've always called her since we were elementary school classmates, had always been devoted to her family and friends. I also happened to be her neighbor in Saigon in the Frères Louis area where she and I lived in the inside small streets called ruelles. She on the east side and me on the west side, but only ten minutes apart, walking distance.

The careful and thoughtful diet she cooked every day for Mặc-Long was indeed a labor of love. I remember her telling me (when I stayed many times for a couple of days over your house on my way to Trinidad where my husband was assigned at the U.S. Embassy, and vice versa back from Trinidad to the U.S. in the early 1990s) that Mặc-Long was a God-given child. "He brought prosperity and happiness to both of us. Lân has grown in his business since Mặc-Long was born, and I found good fortune and fulfillment," she told me Therefore, he was the joy of the family. Needless to say that she was very proud of VyVy's accomplishments as well.

I also recall that she had a full agenda and timetable for Mac Long and I followed along with her schedule. She prepared and did all the chores in the house for Mac Long, then I went with her to pick Mặc-Long up at his school, etc. When you came home from work, her attention was focused on both of you, and I could see the tight-knit relationship and the TLC (tender, love and care) you provided to Mặc-Long and to her. What a lovely family indeed.

I don't forget that every morning and evening, she lit incense sticks and prayed religiously to Buddha. She gave me a good example and until today, both my husband (an American) and I have been praying to Buddha every evening before going to bed. I still see images of both Maryse and myself visiting her mother (when she was still alive) and her brother and sister' families. I still miss eating the best longanes (trái nhãn) from your garden. I'm also grateful that you, Maryse, and Mặc-Long had spent a whole day going around to find a BMW for us to buy. That car (over 120,000 miles now) was given to our eldest son who drove us this year at Thanskgiving in New York. Every time I sit in the car, which is running very well, I remember the best times I'd spent with my kind and generous friend from my childhood. What a precious time we've had together.

My only regret was when I wanted to come and visit her and take care of her, cooking for her as she had done for me (as I told her), during her time of sickness, she categorically refused to let me do it. But fortunately, I was able to call her and talk with her for hours to comfort her, even a couple of months ago.

I don't know what else to say to express my deep love to Maryse but to pray that she rest in peace and look after her micro family, especially you, VyVy and Mặc-Long, and her macro family for a long time to come.

Affectionately,

Jacqueline Thu Vân / Jackie Bông